I ran across some of my older journals last night and began to read through a few of them. It was interesting to go back to where I was and read about all of things I was going through. Seeing where I’ve been and how far I have gotten since then. So much has changed.
I wrote of the dreadful office job in the back room of a warehouse with no windows and how frustrated I was just to have to get up and go there in the mornings, especially after talking on the phone almost every night until the early morning hours to a friend that I rarely speak to now.
All of the struggles of loving people who simply didn’t love me back, of learning to love myself, and one-sided friendships.
I truly am grateful for all everything I went through because I have learned a lot, and am able to better appreciate what I have now.
I’m surrounded by people who are not afraid to break through the walls and insecurities and love me for who I am. Right through the craziness. I love having people to laugh with, cry with, be silly with and love with. I have 2 jobs and I love them both. Had I not had to endure those customer service jobs stuck in cubicles, I may not have been able to fully appreciate what I do now.
After going through all of those one-sided, drama filled friendships starring me as the resident door mat, I am able to see how far I’ve come. In learning to love myself, I have found my strength. I deserve to be treated better than that.
I lost a few friends along that path, but they were the friends that liked me better as a door mat, and so many more wonderful people came in their place.
I am so glad to be on this part of my path. It’s not so much the destination as it is the journey to get there. I have to admit, I am really enjoying the adventure.
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