Politics & Religion

Hi, my name is Holly, and I am a Libertarian. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, basically, I feel the government should be limited instead of the people (see chart below). 

There has been so much going around lately about religious beliefs, and how laws should reflect religious beliefs. Laws should reflect what is good for the people, and frankly there needs to be less laws then there are. The government needs to get its politically correct hands out of everyone else’s personal business. The government of a Constitutional Republic is not a government that needs to be telling we the people how and what to think. It doesn’t need to be distracting us with ridiculous controversies to hide all of the corruption going on. It doesn’t need to have it’s hands in every little thing because that is how we begin to lose our freedom. Did you know that you can now be arrested for thought crimes? Does that sound like a free country to you? 

Imagine a world where marriage is your choice, and divorcing is your choice. You don’t have to pay legal fees or deal with paperwork. You do what is right for you instead of what everyone tells you to do. Remember the days when most jobs provided you with health insurance, and it wasn’t a constant fight to get healthcare? Back when fast food and mall jobs were for teenagers saving up to buy a car, and in my case music and Oakleys. (which is who the minimum wage was set for). Back when being unemployed and on government programs wasn’t so luxurious. I have been on unemployment, I used that time to get back in school and make something of myself, then got back to work as soon as could while remaining in school. I want to do more than what I am doing and have more of an impact on the world. It’s getting too easy to get comfortable and unmotivated. People get paid by the government to sit around and do nothing while people who are trying to make something of themselves end up with a mountain of student loan debt. Things are so backwards, and I don’t believe for a second that it’s not on purpose. The government has even gotten it’s hands way too far into education. It was enough to keep me from teaching back in the day watching my aunt, who spent her life in the school system and worked her way from a bus driver to a principal, having to constantly fight government for the children of our nation, but now they are trying to dumb them down with common core and force them to spend the majority of their lesson plans preparing for government testing. All the while trying to come up with penalties for homeschooling. I am totally for homeschooling, at least until high school, or even Montessori or experiential schools. I say until high school because when you homeschool your kid, or send them to a school where they can thrive, they are in a good place socially, mentally, and emotionally by their high school years and the opportunity for extracurriculars is great (as long as they stop getting rid of music and arts programs). The laws of the land should not keep people from their religion, ethics, and beliefs. They should protect the people from harm and from the government getting too big. If someone doesn’t want to bake you a cake for your gay wedding, take your business somewhere where your money is good. If someone wouldn’t sell me food because I was overweight, I would spend my money somewhere that is more than happy to sell me food (granted, my network of people would be informed of it via social media, but there would be no lawsuit). Freedom is deciding for yourself. It’s not fearing to use your voice, and to think something that it is different from what the collective deems safe. 

Freedom is being allowed to be a free-thinker. Freedom is being allowed to love and worship whatever version of God resonates with you, as long as you aren’t harming anyone. This includes forcing your beliefs on others. If being a homosexual is not right for you, then be straight, that doesn’t mean that everyone else has to be straight, too. If they’re not, fine. You don’t have to understand it, just let them be true to themselves. The suicide rate is so high with LGBT because of how they are made to feel about their sexuality. If you are born a girl and feel like a girl, awesome. If you are born a girl and feel like a boy, awesome. Do what you have to do to be true to yourself. The only negative-ish thing that I will say about this, is don’t expect me, the taxpayer, to pay for your gender reassignment, unless you, the taxpayer, would like to pay for my gastric bypass and access skin removal afterwards. I am a strong, skinny woman, trapped in a curvy girls body, it’s not always easy to match your outside to your inside, but you have to work with what you have sometimes (unless you have Kardashian levels of money). I love the Wiccan Rede (before you continue reading, remove any negativity you have attached to the word Wiccan, and read the Rede with an open mind): Do what you will and harm none.

Which brings us to religion. I, personally, love to experience God. In a lot of different ways, inspired by a lot of different religions and belief systems. Beliefnet labelled me as Neo-Pagan, which I have learned is basically the “other” category of religions and belief systems. I have Christian beliefs, I have Buddhist beliefs, I have Pagan beliefs, I have Druid beliefs, I have Wiccan beliefs, I have Christian Science (not Scientology) beliefs, I have Metaphysical beliefs, and I have metaphysical gifts. The list goes on and on. I pray, I meditate, I light candles, I manifest, I attend healing rituals and celebrations with my “Tribe”, I practice energy healing and holistic healing (I go the doctor once a year get my PCOS prescription, it’s the hormonal wackiness that has plagued me since puberty, which I am currently reading about so that I can reverse it). I have already begun to reduce the chemicals that go in and on my body little by little. Which, I have to go on record as saying, baking soda based deodorants work so much better than the chemical ridden stuff you find in regular stores. Also, coconut oil is an awesome makeup remover and moisturizer. But I digress. The point that I am trying to make here is that I have my ways of experiencing and working with and for God. They don’t look like what the world may be used to, but it is what works for me and connects me to the Divine. In that, I have learned that there are many ways to connect to and experience God. As long as you are “harming none”, it’s not wrong. As for all of you Christians out there, I encourage you to remember not only the death of Jesus (which by the way, was meant to get rid of all of those laws that no longer had a place in a world that had evolved spiritually), but to. also, focus on his life and why he came here in the first place. It was to show us how to love, and that getting rid of the hate, judgement, and discrimination, and embracing love and walking in love is the new way to Godliness. All those years ago, we graduated from the rules of the Old Testament and moved into a new era of love. It’s time that we reminded ourselves of that, as we begin to graduate even further into a deeper level of loving. There is a reason kids are being born with incredible awareness. Some toddlers will have breakdowns over eating animals. Toddlers! We are moving forward, and with that you have to move forward with it, and start deciding for yourself the kind of life that you want to lead, and the kind of legacy you want to leave behind. I know that I would prefer to leave the children a brighter, safer, more loving future, full of adventure, passion, and joy. 

Let the haters hate, while you laugh it off with those who appreciate. 

You can’t control other people, you can only control yourself, your life,  and how you react to other people.

  

Online Dating Rant

I was reading this article on Elite Daily, and not only could I relate, but it got me to thinking about this whole dating thing. I have been out of the dating scene for a while (because I got tired of it), but I feel like it is time to start putting myself out there, again.  I do want to be in a relationship and I do want to date, but things seem to have changed quite a bit, and I have to admit I don’t like where they are going.

I've been trying a few online dating sites, and I have to say it hasn't been pretty so far. As I was talking to Megan and Robby about my online dating woes yesterday, Robby said to me, "Whatever happened to meeting for dinner? Opening doors for a lady ... wining and dining a lady." That's what I want, but it is something that has, unfortunately, become all too rare. I am not one to settle, especially when it comes to romance. I have seen too many toxic relationships to ever want to end up in one. I have seen good ones too and am learning what I want in a relationship, as well as, what I don't want. 

Too many of the guys are just out for, as Steve Harvey calls it, the cookie. I want to go out and have fun and laugh, not naked bathroom selfies. Now mind you, a few months into a relationship that could be fun and sexy, but before you even meet someone in person or after date number 1, not fun or sexy, just creepy. 

I’m not saying you will never get the cookie. I am saying you might have to put in some time and effort, and frankly, I don’t think that’s too much to ask. I need the foundation of trust, friendship, chemistry, and sexual attraction to be there. I’m not one of those girls who is eager to “bake cookies” for every man I meet. I need substance.

I know there are good men out there. I have many in my group of family and friends. Most of them are just gay and/or married. The single few sometimes seem interested, but don’t do anything about it. They seem to have me in the friend zone (It’s not just for guys), I suppose. 

When I was working with a life coach at one point, she told me to allow myself to be pursued, so that is what I try to do. On the online dating sites, I don’t contact people, I let them contact me, and they do. It’s hard to sift through them sometimes. 

Some you can tell right away that they are douche bags, with messages like, “I want to spread my seed.” and “R U DTF?”. Both of which are real messages that I have received. As a writer, the text talk drives me nuts. If you want a response from me, use full words and at least make a solid attempt at grammar. Even “Wussup” will make me hesitate to respond. If English isn’t your first language, I will give you a break, other than that get it together guys. Again, the rules change once we have a good foundation built and it’s done in jest. As a first impression, it will not fly. 

Dating needs to get back to the basics, again. I can’t stand this hookup culture. If you are a part of it, and you enjoy, great. Good for you. Do what makes you happy. I’m just saying that’s not what I want for myself.

I want someone to laugh with, joke with, talk to in depth about anything and everything, someone to go have fun with, someone to stay in and cuddle with, someone who can see something special in me as I see something special in him. Someone that I feel safe being vulnerable with, that is willing to be vulnerable with me, as well. Someone honest, who can handle the truth, and is capable of talking things out. Is that really so much to ask for. Just someone who enjoys my company and can be totally himself with me, and I can be totally myself with him. 

I’m not needy or insecure. No one needs to sacrifice anything that they don’t want to let go of. Chase your dreams, because I will continue to chase mine. Ask any of my friends, I’m a pretty good cheerleader, and I am pretty flexible when it comes to maintaining relationships. I don’t understand why it gets so complicated in some people’s minds. 

I have my memberships on the online sites until December so I will check them every once in a while, but I seem to have better luck meeting people throughout different areas of my walking life. I’ve been actually trying since school got out, and I have been occupying my time. School starts back June 8th, so I will most likely go back to being too busy with school, work, chorus, family and friends to worry about it too much. It’s still something that I want for myself someday, I think I am better off just letting it happen, and shutting down the douche bags. 

I have a good life, and I think that really helps to keep me from settling for a jerk. 

I would love to hear anyone else’s dating experiences and advice for dating in 2015. All comments and questions are welcome. 

With lots of love, light and big hugs to all of you.

10 Things You Hate About Me

I have been reading about Frida Kahlo, and even though I am not a huge fan of her art, I am a huge fan of her. I find myself relating to her and questioning who I am versus who I am trying to be.

When you are 35 and single, society can distort who you are as you begin to believe that because you are single there is something wrong with you. I am told over and over, again, that I have to present myself a certain way in order to be attractive. I have been told the majority of my life that I have to lose weight, wear make up, dress a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain kind of “fit in the box” woman, and if I am not perfect in every way I will remain single forever.

In all honesty, trying to be everything perfectly for everybody is not only exhausting, but it is unrealistic and dishonest to who I really am. So, who am I? What is so wrong with me?

Here are 10 things you might hate about me:

1. I hate make-up. Sometimes it can be fun to play with, but for everyday I can’t do it. Especially, foundations and powders. They are so uncomfortable, and it feels like a literal mask. I don’t want to hide who I am. I want to be truly me, raw and uncut, and be loved and appreciated for that. I want to be loved for who I am, not for I am pretending to be, or even for who I have the potential to one day possibly be. Just me. Right here. Right now. Me. 
• Why you hate this about me - As a woman, I am supposed to be into makeup and wrapped up in how I look. Contrary to society, I am more concerned with who I am. I may not be as vibrant, gorgeous, and picturesque as you like without wearing makeup constantly, but damn it, I will accept whoever you want to be and love you for it.
2. I can’t guarantee that I will ever weigh less than I do now. I can lose weight, I’ve done it before, sometimes it comes back. Maybe not always, but the possibility remains. The fact of the matter is I have PCOS which screws with your hormones, and also screws with your ability to lose weight. Solid support could help, but it’s just me right now. Due to the pain that I have acquired from car accidents over the years (and emotional pain from, well, let’s just say kind of everywhere), I am not always enough to keep myself on track. I am working on it. Actively. I have to go by how I feel, and not what I am losing (or not losing) because then I will surely get discouraged.
• Why you might hate this about me - Stereotypically, it means that I am lazy, sloppy, unhealthy, and gross. I’m not supposed to be comfortable or sexy at my weight, but I will strut my stuff anyhow. I will fosse dance the heck out of a chair, get on a stage and pour my heart out in a song or a dance (or a mix of the two), break out the Michael Jackson moves, or shake it to just about any kind of music that comes on the radio. The pain from past car accidents holds me back more than the weight ever did. 
3. I don’t like to cook very much. To be honest standing in one place for more than a few minutes hurts like hell. With the actual cooking, it’s not so bad because I move around a lot, but the dishes can be killer. I’m not bad at it, I just don’t take the time to put much effort into cooking just for myself. The Magic Bullet has been a wonderful in this arena. Throw some frozen fruit and veggies together with some yogurt and water and you can quickly and easily drink a nutritious meal. 
• Why you might hate this about me - Women are supposed to cook. The way to a man’s heart is his stomach, right? No home cooking, no man. This is probably the one that will lose me the most points, apart from my weight.
4. I am passionate and emotional. I feel things, and I feel them deeply. Writing is my art. I tend to write loving, emotional, handwritten letters to friends and family. I pour my heart into them, and I gush and dote. I love big and I love hard. Friends, family, people, partners I love them, as my niece Emi says, “Big, wide, and tall”. With that comes hurting hard. When my heart gets broken, it’s painful. More painful than most people can bear. It breaks over rejection, betrayal, lies, or seeing someone else hurting. I can be overwhelmed with love and joy, or pain and sadness. Anything I feel is intensified. This can freak people out, I’ve seen it happen, and it has caused me to feel bad about loving the way that I do, and feeling the way that I do. I figure I have to be like this for a reason. It has to have some higher purpose. Thanks to societies expectations I water down and filter myself, and I’m not so sure I should be doing that.
• Why you might hate this about me - I will cry. If I am happy, sad, excited, angry, touched, I may very well cry. Sometimes, I will care too much when you don’t want me to.
5. I am a healer at heart. This is why it’s hard for me to see others hurting. I know what it’s like to hurt, and I know what it’s like to heal. So when I see someone hurting or harming themselves, I want to help. Megan, who is one of my best friends and part of my extended family, made a comment to me one time as we were walking through a hospital. She kind of giggled, and said, “You say ‘hi’ to everyone.” I never realized that I did it, until she said something. Then I said (without thinking about it) something like you never know who is having a bad day, or feeling under-appreciated, ignored or stressed out. That moment I realized that the way she is a bleeding heart for animals, I am a bleeding heart for humans. Healing myself is just as important as healing others, and I take one just as much to heart as the other. 
• Why you might hate this about me - I want to be helpful, and I want you to heal. I have fallen for guys that should have been clients. I was trying to save them by loving them. This one, also, causes me to care about you too much, like it or not. 
6. I love music. I love to sing and I love to dance. I, also, own a bunch of instruments that I can barely play. I am a musical theater nerd, and I like to sing and dance in everyday life. I even make up songs, or sing my frustrations, as I feel it makes them come across less impatient and bitchy.
• Why you might hate this about me - I sing and dance randomly throughout my day, all of the time, it can be embarrassing. 
7. I don’t like rules and limitations. Don’t tell me I can’t do something. Get out of my way.
• Why you might hate this about me - you want me to live by your rules and limited expectations.
8. I am constantly working on myself. As I mentioned before, I take my own healing very seriously. I want to be the best version of myself that I can muster up at any given moment. Sometimes that puts me at the top of my game, and sometimes that means a luxurious bath, a fabulous nap, and some down time.
• Why you might hate this about me - While working on my own healing, I have to deal with my crap. Sometimes this process can look a little chaotic. I can be depressed, frustrated, angry, hurt or sad when dealing with the emotions, and then once I sleep it off I’m good to go, again. This cycle could go on for however long it takes to work through it, but it will be worth it in the end. I have references who can attest to that.
9. I am spiritual. I dabble in different practices as well as creating my own. I like to experience God the way that I experience God, sans rules, limitations, and expectations. I meditate, I communicate with the spirit world (angels, guides, ancestors, fae, family, friends, masters) , I pray, I light candles, I participate in Druid healing circles, I celebrate Pagan and Christian holidays, I celebrate for the sake of celebrating, I manifest, I dance, I laugh, I love, I sing, I am a Reiki master, I do energy work, I am intuitive. My friends and family in this part of my world, we are called lightworkers. 
• Why you might hate this about me - It’s weird. At least, it seems weird to people who may not be familiar with some of these concepts, and fear what they don’t understand. Not everyone is going to get it, and that’s okay, but it’s a big part of who I am, and I have found that a lot of people have had an issue with it. You might, too. 
10. I desire truth and honesty. As much as I long to present myself as truly me, I hope for the same from you. I want you to know me, to see me for who I am. I want to know you and see you for who you truly are.
• Why you might hate this about me - I will call you out. I won’t let you get away with lying or B.S.ing me. If I do let you get away with, know that I have given up on trying to help you and our friendship from that day forward will be superficial, as I will not trust you.

One of the critiques I have gotten on my blog from a dear friend who is not afraid to be real with me, is to be more real and acknowledge the negative in myself. First of all, I thought I was. Maybe he just likes me more than the majority of people and the things I get negative feedback on, he doesn’t see as negative. I will say this, everything that I have listed here I have gotten negative feedback on. Be it criticisms, rejection, betrayal, weirding people out, disappointing people, or just causing people to simply disappear from life. So whether you decide to judge them as good or bad, all I can do is judge them as me.