“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person's throat......Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established.........Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation.........Forgiveness does not excuse anything.........You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness......”
There is a power in forgiveness. A power that frees you (not the one you are forgiving). However, there is a fatal flaw in the whole “forgive and forget” mantra. If you forget your experience, you don’t learn from it.
Forgiveness is releasing the grudge of a wrong-doing, however forgetting can open you up to the same world of hurt all over, again. Forgiving doesn’t mean that nothing changes. It means that you release the hurt, learn from experience, and are moving forward, again. Not forgiving causes you to get stuck where you are. It’s okay to let yourself be hurt or angry. Take some time to feel what you feel and mourn what you need to mourn, just don’t live there. Take a day or two, or even a week if you need it, but make sure you are still doing things that will bring the life back into you. Be around people that make you laugh, accept you for who you are, and make you feel like you are okay even when you are a mess. Do that thing that feeds your soul. Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend who was going through the same situation. Think about what you would want for that person, and then do it for you. 
Understand that there are people who can not face their mistakes. They refuse to look in the mirror, or take responsibility for their part. As much as it sucks, it happens. There’s nothing you can do about it. You can only take responsibility for you. You can watch out for you. You can do what you need to do to release it and move on. You cannot walk their journey for them. You cannot make them grow. You have your own journey and growth to concern yourself with. They are not your responsibility. You are your responsibility. Spend your time, energy and emotions on those who have proven themselves to be true, and always know that you are never alone.
Forgiving doesn't change the past, it changes the future.
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