I heard the saying “You are what you do everyday” and looked back on this past week that I have been unable to leave my apartment. I thought about what I have done with the time I’ve had here, and what I should be doing everyday to become who I am meant to be. Everything that is within me that I have been suppressing for far too long, parts of me that I put aside to take care of the day to day.
There is a dancer within me, so everyday I should let her dance. The musician should play, the singer should sing, the writer should write, and the lover should love. To be a student, I should study. To be fun loving and light hearted, I should play. If I want to be a person who touches lives, I must reach out.
Whatever it is within you that you want to be. Find a way to be that everyday, even in a small way. When you are walking a certain path, every step counts.
Love and Light :)
By the way, if you are wondering where I heard that saying, it was Keith Stallworth who plays Jacob in Step Up 3 (it’s in the DVD extras).
Friday, January 14, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
If I Knew I Could Not Fail
Last night a good friend of mine posed a fantastic question:
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
Wow! All of these different ideas started rushing through my mind. I was shocked at all of the answers I had for that question, so I figured I would share a few.
- I would fall in love.
Over the years, I have been hurt, betrayed, used, taken advantage of, walked all over, etc. All by people that were supposed to be closest to me. It wasn’t such a big deal when random kids at school picked on me. I didn’t know them and I didn’t care to. It was the people that were close to me, the people that were supposed to be protecting me, the people that were supposed to be on my side that really got to me. Even a lot of the good ones who were really good to me, would disappear. It was very discouraging and I began to grow weary of letting people get too close. It took a long time for me to overcome all of the pain that had been inflected on me time and time, again, year after year. I had lost hope for a while there and even quit dating. Even when things seemed like they were going well in the dating arena, they weren’t. If he was jerk, I’d get rid of the guy pretty quickly. If he was a good one, he would end up randomly falling off of the face of planet. This would happen over and over, again, until finally, I gave in. I threw in the towel. I was worn out.
Being in love is something that I have always wanted to experience. I’ve loved strongly, but without being loved back (as far as I could tell), which to me doesn’t count. Loving someone in such a way who is not capable of loving you back is excruciating as opposed to the joy filled experience I imagine mutually being in love to be.
Now, things are changing. I still have my two best friends that I’ve always had. My relationship with my family has improved greatly. The people surrounding me are absolutely amazing. All of this and more has brought back my faith in people. With that comes a willingness to let people in and a willingness to allow myself to love and be loved. Which is something I’ve been tapping into a lot more lately. I look forward to the opportunity to experience love in the fullest form.
- I would lose the weight and get in shape.
Thanks to P.C.O.S. it is near impossible for me to lose weight. I have to stay active and bust my butt, just to maintain and keep from gaining anything. Due to this, I’ve taken a different approach. I eat what makes me feel good (no red meat, fruit, organic food as often as possible, almond milk, etc). I stay pretty active around the house, even more so now with the Wii Fit (thanks Dad and Ali Ali) and the Just Dance games and Michael Jackson Experience game (Thanks, Tia, for the MJ game). If I could accomplish this one thing, it could help me out in a lot of the other areas.
- I would get back on stage and get serious about learning my craft.
Even though, I know helping kids is my calling. I have no doubt that musical theater, singing and dance all have their place in who I am meant to be. God doesn’t give people passion for no reason. My gift is with kids, while my passion lies in music, performing, dancing, singing, etc. I know in time the two will collide to create my true purpose and who I am truly meant to be. I’ve had to forgive myself for giving up on myself. I had to remind myself that I didn’t have the strength that I have now. I allowed myself to be talked out of my passion years ago. Because of that I know have quite a journey to really get back into it.
I not only want to do musicals, again, but I want to get back into hip hop and maybe even eventually learn how to be a B-girl (breaker-girl). You can thank LXD and Atlanta’s own Burn Unit for that inspiration.
So, those are a few of my bigger ones. Leave some comments below, I would love to hear any answers you all come with :)
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
Wow! All of these different ideas started rushing through my mind. I was shocked at all of the answers I had for that question, so I figured I would share a few.
- I would fall in love.
Over the years, I have been hurt, betrayed, used, taken advantage of, walked all over, etc. All by people that were supposed to be closest to me. It wasn’t such a big deal when random kids at school picked on me. I didn’t know them and I didn’t care to. It was the people that were close to me, the people that were supposed to be protecting me, the people that were supposed to be on my side that really got to me. Even a lot of the good ones who were really good to me, would disappear. It was very discouraging and I began to grow weary of letting people get too close. It took a long time for me to overcome all of the pain that had been inflected on me time and time, again, year after year. I had lost hope for a while there and even quit dating. Even when things seemed like they were going well in the dating arena, they weren’t. If he was jerk, I’d get rid of the guy pretty quickly. If he was a good one, he would end up randomly falling off of the face of planet. This would happen over and over, again, until finally, I gave in. I threw in the towel. I was worn out.
Being in love is something that I have always wanted to experience. I’ve loved strongly, but without being loved back (as far as I could tell), which to me doesn’t count. Loving someone in such a way who is not capable of loving you back is excruciating as opposed to the joy filled experience I imagine mutually being in love to be.
Now, things are changing. I still have my two best friends that I’ve always had. My relationship with my family has improved greatly. The people surrounding me are absolutely amazing. All of this and more has brought back my faith in people. With that comes a willingness to let people in and a willingness to allow myself to love and be loved. Which is something I’ve been tapping into a lot more lately. I look forward to the opportunity to experience love in the fullest form.
- I would lose the weight and get in shape.
Thanks to P.C.O.S. it is near impossible for me to lose weight. I have to stay active and bust my butt, just to maintain and keep from gaining anything. Due to this, I’ve taken a different approach. I eat what makes me feel good (no red meat, fruit, organic food as often as possible, almond milk, etc). I stay pretty active around the house, even more so now with the Wii Fit (thanks Dad and Ali Ali) and the Just Dance games and Michael Jackson Experience game (Thanks, Tia, for the MJ game). If I could accomplish this one thing, it could help me out in a lot of the other areas.
- I would get back on stage and get serious about learning my craft.
Even though, I know helping kids is my calling. I have no doubt that musical theater, singing and dance all have their place in who I am meant to be. God doesn’t give people passion for no reason. My gift is with kids, while my passion lies in music, performing, dancing, singing, etc. I know in time the two will collide to create my true purpose and who I am truly meant to be. I’ve had to forgive myself for giving up on myself. I had to remind myself that I didn’t have the strength that I have now. I allowed myself to be talked out of my passion years ago. Because of that I know have quite a journey to really get back into it.
I not only want to do musicals, again, but I want to get back into hip hop and maybe even eventually learn how to be a B-girl (breaker-girl). You can thank LXD and Atlanta’s own Burn Unit for that inspiration.
So, those are a few of my bigger ones. Leave some comments below, I would love to hear any answers you all come with :)
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