I have always had a love for musical theater, and was introduced to Les Mis at a young age. I have always related so deeply to Eponine. For those of you who may not be so familiar with the show, the love triangle consists of Marius, Eponine and Cosette. Marius and Eponine are best friends, and have been a lot of their lives. She's loyal, fearless, and she loves hard. She is madly in love with Marius. Marius loves her, too....only not romantically. Then, out of nowhere, Cosette walks into Marius's life. They fall deeply in love with eachother. Eponine tries to get his attention, she tries with everything that is in her to hold onto Marius and "what they could have"(in her mind). So much effort, so much fighting, and for what, to die chasing him into battle.Cosette walks into the room once, that's all it took, one look, and she had his heart. All she had to do was just be and it was enough. She didn't have to lose her heart, lose herself, fight. Love was not a struggle for her. It came so easily.
I have been Eponine. The tough girl that would do anything for the people she loves, believing in true love without any actual proof of it. Fearing that even though it may exist, it probably didn't for me. I have loved hard, with no rhyme or reason. I have fought and fought battles that weren't mine to fight, struggled without purpose, almost simply for the sake of struggling it would seem. I have seen many Cosettes simply walk into the room and walk out with the heart of a great man. Love can come easily. I just didn't think it could for me. I thought I had to fight, I thought I had to struggle. I thought maybe if I work for it, put the time and energy in, then I would finally deserve it, and it would be there, I'd receive it. Now, I know that, if I just get out of my own way, I could be a Cosette. I don't have to fight, so I'm not going to anymore. If it's meant to be it will be, if it's not, it won't. Simple as that. No need to complicate it. As coach keeps telling me, "Love is easy. Relationships are easy." Sometimes we try to make them a lot harder than are. If he's into me, he'll let me know. If he's not letting me know, then he's not into me. Nothing personal, it just is what it is. I can see a change happening in me.This time, as I watch this beautiful play, I see Eponine as where I was, and Cossette as where I am going. Gotta love it when growth and progress are happening so quickly you can see it before your very own eyes. The future is looking very promising.
