The end of this school year has been a very sentimental time. With my baby brother graduating from the University of Florida and the elusive summer schedule of someone in childcare. You never know what the summer will bring, and sometimes you are left wondering about the next fall.
So many things are changing and left up in the air, and here I am waiting with much anticipation to see where they all fall into place.
When doors close, more open. It is time to revamp and make sure there is plenty of room for work, school, spirit, family, friends and maybe even romance.
Even if I do end up on a new venture, I will forever hold what I have in my heart. This journey has been incredible and will forever be a huge part of making me who I am and what I have become. I have been so loved and believed in lately, that it has shown me the true beauty that lies within me. Okay, I know many of you who have known me for awhile are picking your jaw up off of the ground right now. I don’t think I have ever referred to myself as beautiful before (It surprised me as much as it did you guys). The love that I have been shown, and the love that I have been able to share have changed me. I am beginning to see myself as God sees me, even as other loving people in my life see me. Lately, I have been able to feel my beauty, and I am no longer afraid to share it. Does that mean I am going to start wearing more make up more often? Probably not (Sorry, Mom). Dressing nicer? I work with whatever I have in my closet.
To me sharing my beauty is loving greater. I am affectionate by nature and it’s time for me to set that free. I used to be insecure about being a loving person. I allowed myself to be made to feel gross. I thought my hugs offended, but they have actually become something I am known for in a very positive sense. I get more compliments on my hugs than I do almost anything else. To me that is beautiful, and I finally feel accepted for who I am. I feel like it is more than okay for me to just be Holly. Nothing more, nothing less. The truer I am to myself the more I realize the beauty in who I am. Other people see it, too. For the first time I feel like people are starting to, not only see me for who I am, but embrace and love that person. Something that, if you had asked me a few years ago, I would have never thought possible. Allowing myself to be who I am, and to love how I’ve always wanted to love has given me wings. It has freed my soul and I can honestly say I have never been happier. From the looks of things, it’s only going to get better. My journey has been incredibly exciting lately. I can’t wait to see what happens next :)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
A Plea for Forward Motion
All day I have been listening to the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death. It was discussed in classrooms, discussed on TV, on the radio, on the internet. It was everywhere.
The more I hear about it and the more views I hear, the more I attempt to sort out my feelings about it. I can’t see rejoicing in the death of anyone, but rather I feel sadness that it had to come to this. I’m saddened that 9/11 had to happen and that so many people have died in the process attempting to keep us safe from an attack like that happening, again. I’m saddened to know that there are crazy people out there trying to hurt anyone who thinks a little differently than they do. I feel sorry for Al Quada, it can’t be a good experience living and walking in such extreme hatred. They’re not religious, they are mad. They are to the Muslim faith what Westboro is to the Baptist faith.
I can’t find it within me to hate, but I do hurt for this earth at times. I prefer to spend my time and efforts on the lighter side of life, but this is one of those days that constantly reminds you of the darkness that is out there.
I could never be in the military. I could never see what they see and experience what they experience and survive it. I would never be able to do what they have to do. My friend, Sara, gets onto me about swerving to miss a bird in the middle of the road when I’m driving. I just don’t have it in me. I am so grateful for the people that have the strength to risk themselves to protect me and my loved ones, yet I am saddened that they have to do it. I so wish love could fix this, but it is a concept that these extremists don’t understand. They are trained to kill and trained to die. That’s it. However, can we be sure that killing has ended this? Will there be retaliation? Could it really be over? Oh, how I wish it were. Oh, how I hope it is.
We are all one, therefore we need to stop fighting our own. I wish there was a way everyone could grasp that. The world would be a much better place if we could just learn to see each other for the beautiful beings we all are, as opposed to being so stuck in fear that we feel the need to rise up and fight against anything that’s different. Embrace the differences, you might learn something. Not only about other cultures and belief systems, but about yourself.
The more I hear about it and the more views I hear, the more I attempt to sort out my feelings about it. I can’t see rejoicing in the death of anyone, but rather I feel sadness that it had to come to this. I’m saddened that 9/11 had to happen and that so many people have died in the process attempting to keep us safe from an attack like that happening, again. I’m saddened to know that there are crazy people out there trying to hurt anyone who thinks a little differently than they do. I feel sorry for Al Quada, it can’t be a good experience living and walking in such extreme hatred. They’re not religious, they are mad. They are to the Muslim faith what Westboro is to the Baptist faith.
I can’t find it within me to hate, but I do hurt for this earth at times. I prefer to spend my time and efforts on the lighter side of life, but this is one of those days that constantly reminds you of the darkness that is out there.
I could never be in the military. I could never see what they see and experience what they experience and survive it. I would never be able to do what they have to do. My friend, Sara, gets onto me about swerving to miss a bird in the middle of the road when I’m driving. I just don’t have it in me. I am so grateful for the people that have the strength to risk themselves to protect me and my loved ones, yet I am saddened that they have to do it. I so wish love could fix this, but it is a concept that these extremists don’t understand. They are trained to kill and trained to die. That’s it. However, can we be sure that killing has ended this? Will there be retaliation? Could it really be over? Oh, how I wish it were. Oh, how I hope it is.
We are all one, therefore we need to stop fighting our own. I wish there was a way everyone could grasp that. The world would be a much better place if we could just learn to see each other for the beautiful beings we all are, as opposed to being so stuck in fear that we feel the need to rise up and fight against anything that’s different. Embrace the differences, you might learn something. Not only about other cultures and belief systems, but about yourself.
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